You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
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