How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
Randomize