Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
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