i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Randomize
