this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
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