It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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