there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize
