We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Randomize
