the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
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