The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
Randomize
