the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Randomize
