New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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