just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
Randomize
