ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
