I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
Randomize