he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
Randomize
