so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize