you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
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