I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize
