As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
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