Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
Girls should come with a carfax report
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
