The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
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