you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
