Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Randomize