she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
