Cold hands, warm shart.
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
Randomize
