And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
My balls are so social today.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize
