how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
