Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
the gays at disneyland are vicious
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
Randomize