and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Randomize
