A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Randomize
