honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
