some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
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