my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
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