so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
Randomize
