I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
I am never drinking with the goths again.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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