You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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