Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Randomize
