I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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