did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Randomize
