What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Randomize
