u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
I think we might need a safe word for this...
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
