found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
Randomize
