don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
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