I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
Please don't give away my fajitas
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
