They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
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