He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
