bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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