Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
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