I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
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