We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
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