she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
Semen is not good for contacts.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
