Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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