porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
Randomize
