So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
No subtext here. People are naked.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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