Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
Randomize
