Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
