I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Randomize