Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
Watching her eat just hurts me
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize
