We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Randomize