fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Randomize
