I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
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